


Lost!

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ?? it wont be major at all though, Angst, Bro - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Help, I should probably tag, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Mentioned Smoking, Underage Drinking, Wrong Number AU, also expect some langst, btw the shallura is super minor, but im in love with them, im a mess, im not even planning it, it just occurred to me, listen i know there are so many of these, not even going to happen until later, this is literally just a dumb ramble im typing on my phone, will add more tags as the fic goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:31:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: another dumb, gay, wrong number autitled after Lost! by Coldplay





	1. this is why we can't have nice things

**Author's Note:**

> lance's text is normal  
> keith's text is italics  
> pidge's text is underlined  
> hunk's text is bold

**11/15/16**

[10:56 PM] _pidge okay so you remember that documentary you mentioned the other day??_  
[10:57 PM] _i found it on hulu and you need to come over to watch it with me_  
[10:57 PM] _like immediately_  
[11:03 PM] _pidge? don't tell me you already fell asleep_  
[11:05 PM] _i'm disappointed in you pidge_  
[11:12 PM] _pidge i'm dying there is no way you're asleep_  
[11:12 PM] holy fuck  
[11:12 PM] dude i dont even know any pidge  
[11:13 PM] im pretty sure uve got the wrong number and u need to stop texting me  
[11:13 PM] ive got swim at like five in the morning holy fuck  
[11:14 PM] _holy fuck?_  
[11:14 PM] _shit sorry you're right i mistyped it_  
[11:15 PM] _i'll leave you alone now good luck with your swimming_  
[11:16 PM] thanks goodnight

**11/18/16**

[11:02 AM] okay mystery man  
[11:03 AM] fuck i guess i dont even know if ur a dude  
[11:03 AM] owell  
[11:04 AM] mystery man i need ur help its v important  
[11:06 AM] _what??_  
[11:06 AM] shit u replied sweet  
[11:06 AM] hunk didnt think u would  
[11:07 AM] me n my boi here r having a v serious debate n we need an ambiguous third party to make the decision for us  
[11:08 AM] ambiguous isnt the right word fuck  
[11:08 AM] ambidextrous??? no  
[11:08 AM] _unbiased?_  
[11:09 AM] YEAH THATS THE ONE  
[11:09 AM] _so what's the issue_  
[11:11 AM] 11:11 MAKE A WISH  
[11:12 AM] too late mystery man you missed it  
[11:13 AM] so we r discussing whether or not it is appropriate to eat french fries with milkshakes  
[11:13 AM] _... that doesn't sound like a very serious debate_  
[11:13 AM] WHAT  
[11:14 AM] MUSTERY MAN THIS IS AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ARGUMENT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY  
[11:14 AM] mystery* fuck  
[11:15 AM] _i'd say it sounds kind of gross to be honest_  
[11:15 AM] NOOOO MYSTERY MAN,,,  
[11:16 AM] wait have you ever even tried it  
[11:16 AM] mystery man i have to say ur opinion on this matter sounds very unqualified  
[11:19 AM] _well you were the one who asked me, weren't you?_  
[11:20 AM] touché, mystery man, touché  
[11:20 AM] _why are you even messaging me?_  
[11:22 AM] why not?  
[11:22 AM] needed someone to decide the vote although that someone ended up being a TRAITOR  
[11:23 AM] there is a tear rolling down my cheek as we speak mystery man. i almost pity u, for u have not yet lived  
[11:25 AM] _dear lord_  
[11:25 AM] for real though does it bother u that im messaging u cause i can stop  
[11:25 AM] _nah_  
[11:26 AM] _you're actually mildly entertaining_  
[11:26 AM] _just thought you'd be pissed i woke you up last night_  
[11:31 AM] dw about it my dude ur chill  
[11:31 AM] it was an honest mistake  
[11:32 AM] did u n that pidge person end up watching whatever documentary????  
[11:34 AM] _yeah actually_  
[11:35 AM] _it's called aliens on the moon: the truth exposed, it was pretty good_  
[11:38 AM] are you fucking serious  
[11:38 AM] i want to believe ur not a goddamned conspiracy theorist but  
[11:39 AM] there is no way you could have brought ur self to watch a fucking documentary on aliens using the moon as a landing base or some shit without being serious  
[11:39 AM] pls tell me u were doing as a joke  
[11:40 AM] _no?? i'm serious it was good, you should watch it some time. they actually present some pretty good evidence_  
[11:42 AM] i cant believe i'm about to say this but  
[11:42 AM] im pleased to announce that the bell just rang and i have to go  
[11:42 AM] we can discuss ur shitty taste in entertainment later ok  
[11:43 AM] _it's not shitty_  
[11:43 AM] _have fun in classes, i'm assuming_

[12:52 PM] fucking ap bio is going to kill me  
[12:54 PM] i expect u to bring flowers to my funeral  
[12:58 PM] _what makes you think i'm coming to your funeral?_  
[12:58 PM] cold, mystery man. cold.

[2:15 PM] sWEET FREEDOM AT LONG LAST  
[2:15 PM] _i take it you're out of school?_  
[2:27 PM] no fuck  
[2:28 PM] what about u do u have school or some shit  
[2:30 PM] _nah, i have work sometimes though_  
[2:31 PM] no way does that mean ive been talking to some middle aged creep all this time  
[2:35 PM] _... no, i'm eighteen_  
[2:36 PM] woah really  
[2:36 PM] how do i know ur not lyin???!?!?  
[2:43 PM] _you don't i guess?_  
[2:45 PM] oh okay. guess ill just trust u then mystery man  
[2:47 PM] _can you stop calling me that_  
[2:49 PM] what would u rather me call u  
[2:50 PM] personally i think it's an amazing nickname B))))  
[2:54 PM] _keith_  
[2:55 PM] holy shit is that ur name  
[2:55 PM] i didnt know we were on first name basis bro  
[2:56 PM] im practically in tears im so honored  
[2:57 PM] _well i was just thinking since it looked like you weren't going to be done bothering me any time soon_  
[2:59 PM] u bothered me first  
[2:59 PM] lance, btw  
[3:01 PM] _???_  
[3:01 PM] my name  
[3:02 PM] is lance  
[3:06 PM] _oh_  
[3:06 PM] wow way to sound excited  
[3:10 PM] _i guess i was just expecting it to be more over the top?_  
[3:11 PM] wow rude  
[3:11 PM] i cant believe u just insulted my mama like that  
[3:11 PM] _sorry_  
[3:13 PM] dw keithy boi im fooling with yah  
[3:13 PM] i couldnt care less aha  
[3:14 PM] so watcha doin tonight  
[3:18 PM] _not much_  
[3:19 PM] _reading probably??_  
[3:24 PM] wow boring  
[3:24 PM] _what are you doing that's so exciting then_  
[3:25 PM] partying, obviously?? what else am i gonna do on the weekend  
[3:28 PM] _... you're in high school_  
[3:29 PM] ur point being  
[3:31 PM] _my point being that_  
[3:31 PM] _you know what, whatever. just try not to get yourself killed_  
[3:34 PM] im touched u care keithy boy  <3

[10:12 PM] hye kerhy biy  
[10:12 PM] whas shankinn  
[10:13 PM] *hwlle fcknload of typos  
[10:28 PM] _dear god are you actually drunk_  
[10:29 PM] nh m npt  
[10:30 PM] _... sure you aren't_  
[10:30 PM] cant bleve u sont believe me  
[10:33 PM] bsdes s a good way to escla r my pronlems  
[10:33 PM] do u have ay pekblsn keitby bou  
[10:36 PM] _..._  
[10:36 PM] _yes actually_  
[10:37 PM] rllt?? dw keithy buy u cne tell me  
[10:38 PM] _okay_  
[10:38 PM] _but this is a very serious matter, so you have to keep it a secret, okay?_  
[10:40 PM] u got if keithy by  
[10:41 PM] _okay so_  
[10:41 PM] _... i'm actually an alien_  
[10:45 PM] woha??? liek n illegsl aljen?,?  
[10:46 PM] ..,,. or kine n our space alben  
[10:47 PM] _like an outer space alien._  
[10:52 PM] hold fkck  
[10:52 PM] dw kehty boi ur secrt s saff w me  
[10:53 PM] _thank you. i'm so glad i can trust you with this_

**11/19/16**

[8:21 AM] holy fuck i hate you  
[8:22 AM] i mean i hate me too  
[8:22 AM] but i mostly hate you

[2:09 PM] _and here i thought we had a bonding moment_  
[2:10 PM] fuck you  
[2:11 PM] also where were u all day i had a huge speech planned to make you feel bad for what you've done  
[2:15 PM] _work. you could still tell me? i'm intrigued_  
[2:15 PM] its too late i forgot it  
[2:16 PM] but still u took advantage of me in a vulnerable state  
[2:16 PM] _would it make you feel better if i apologized?_  
[2:18 PM] yes  
[2:18 PM] _sucks to be you then_  
[2:24 PM] wOW  
[2:25 PM] thats it  
[2:26 PM] im done w u  
[2:26 PM] so long keithy boy i hope you have a long miserable life  
[2:28 PM] _haha will do_  
[2:37 PM] _... lance?_  
[2:53 PM] _okay lance i'll apologize i'm sorry i took advantage of you_  
[2:54 PM] _you have to admit it was pretty funny though haha_  
[3:07 PM] _damnit_

[3:06 PM] yo keith y r u pnckng so much u look like ur abt 2 blow a gasket  
[3:08 PM] _i think i fucked up_  
[3:09 PM] u mean w tht guy uv known 4 like 4 days at most  
[3:09 PM] y do u even care  
[3:09 PM] _i..._  
[3:10 PM] _don't know actually?_  
[3:11 PM] _he just seemed pretty cool i guess_  
[3:12 PM] 'pretty cool'  
[3:12 PM] nvr thought id c the day when keith kogane called sum1 he barely knew cool  
[3:16 PM] _shut up pidge_  
[3:16 PM] ayay sir  
[3:17 PM] 4 real tho will it make u feel better if we hve a doc mrthn 2nite  
[3:18 PM] . _.. maybe_  
[3:18 PM] u got it bro

[4:03 PM] wow  
[4:03 PM] i wasnt actually expecting u to take me seriously????  
[4:04 PM] sorry dude i was at swim  
[4:06 PM] _oh_  
[4:06 PM] _yeah i figured it was something like that haha_  
[4:12 PM] i mean i cant blame u for panicking, anyone would if they thought theyd lose contact with the most beautiful being in the world ;)))  
[4:13 PM] _i wasn't panicking_  
[4:14 PM] sure w/e u say  
[4:14 PM] whatcha up to tonight  
[4:16 PM] _watching some documentaries with pidge. we're actually about to start_  
[4:18 PM] oh okay have fun  
[4:19 PM] ill leave u to it then nerd, goodnight  
[4:26 PM] _night lance. don't drunk text me again please_  
[4:27 PM] no guarantees :)

[5:32 PM] hUNK  
[5:33 PM] HUNK IM SO BOOOOORED  
[5:33 PM] **Why are you texting me, I'm literally sitting right next to you**  
[5:34 PM] i know but im bored  
[5:36 PM] hunk answer me  
[5:36 PM] **Lance I swear to god I have to actually work on my homework**  
[5:37 PM] #boring  
[5:38 PM] **You were the one who invited yourself over. Why don't you just text that guy you were texting all day yesterday**  
[5:39 PM] hes busy being a nerd and watching documentaries  
[5:40 PM] **You love documentaries lance**  
[5:42 PM] not ones about conspiracy theories and aliens  
[5:46 PM] hUNK  
[5:47 PM] **DEAR GOD FINE LET ME FINISH THIS WORKSHEET AT LEAST AND THEN WE CAN PLAY MARIO CART OR SOMETHING**  
[5:48 PM] yesss. cant wait to beat ur ass on rainbow road  
[5:49 PM] **You mean the one you always lose at?**  
[5:49 PM] oh its on


	2. do pigeons have feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~bonding~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance is regular  
> keith is italics  
> pidge is underlined  
> hunk is bold

**11/20/16**

  
[2:34 AM] _hey are you awake_  
[2:35 AM] now i am  
[2:35 AM] _shit sorry_  
[2:36 AM] no dw about it i dont have anything to do tomorrow until later  
[2:37 AM] whats up my dude  
[2:40 AM] _couldn't sleep is all_  
[2:40 AM] lets talk then  
[2:41 AM] lets see uhm  
[2:41 AM] oh hey did i ever tell u about my cat  
[2:43 AM] _no you didn't_  
[2:44 AM] oh my god i gotta show u her right now immediately hold on let me find her  
[2:44 AM] _okay??_  
      - lance sent an image at 2:53 AM -  
[2:53 AM] this is my darling baby percy  
[2:54 AM] shes the love of my life and i dont know how id live without her  
[2:55 AM] _she's pretty cute_  
[2:55 AM] _why percy?_  
[2:56 AM] u gotta promise not to judge me too hard on this okay  
[2:56 AM] i named her after percy jackson  
[2:56 AM] _... as in rick riordan's percy jackson?_  
[2:57 AM] i went through a phase  
[2:57 AM] _that's..._  
[2:58 AM] _not what i was expecting but kind of cute_  
[3:00 AM] why thank u :^))  
[3:01 AM] i know its p hard to resist my charms  
[3:04 AM] _you know that's not what i meant you idiot_  
[3:05 AM] haha r u sure? ;)  
[3:07 AM] im kidding btw  
[3:08 AM] _i know_  
[3:09 AM] _going to try to sleep again, thanks for talking to me_  
[3:11 AM] of course!! hope i helped?  
[3:11 AM] goodnight keithy boy

[8:46 AM] good mooorning sunshine  
[8:47 AM] how are u this fine day  
[8:53 AM] _alive_  
[8:54 AM] well thats a start, right?  
[8:59 AM] _i suppose it is_  
[9:01 AM] do u have work again today??  
[9:01 AM] _not today i usually have sunday off_  
[9:02 AM] good to know  
[9:03 AM] since u rnt busy  
[9:03 AM] u wanna play cards against humanity with a couple of friends??  
[9:05 AM] _i never said i wasn't busy_  
[9:05 AM] _just that i didn't have work_  
[9:06 AM] shit  
[9:06 AM] thats true  
[9:06 AM] sorry bro ill leave u be then  
[9:07 AM] _no it's okay, i was just saying_  
[9:07 AM] _i'm not actually busy_  
[9:08 AM] _what's cards against humanity?_  
[9:09 AM] oh man it is a gift from god  
[9:10 AM] i mean technically what were going to play isn't the actual game it's just an online version  
[9:11 AM] but to be honest its way better, they have more card packs  
[9:11 AM] kind of hard to explain how to play without just doing it, gimme a second and ill send u a link  
[9:12 AM] okay  
     - lance shared a link at 9:13 AM-  
[9:14 AM] there u go, it's me, hunk, and his girlfriend rn  
[9:14 AM] if u want to invite someone else to play u can? the password is goodbi  
[9:16 AM] _can i invite pidge??_  
[9:17 AM] the more the merrier

[9:17 AM] _hey pidge_  
[9:18 AM] _do you want to play cards against humanity except online_  
_[9:20 AM] holy shit u kno abt cah_  
[9:20 AM] i am always up 4 a game of cah my boi   
[9:21 AM] _okay i'll send you the link_  
      - keith shared a link at 9:23 AM-  
[9:23 AM] _the password is goodbi apparently??_  
[9:24 AM] wait no way  
[9:25 AM] could it b  
[9:25 AM] this game is w wrong # boy???  
[9:27 AM] _yes pidge_  
[9:27 AM] _are you going to join or not_  
[9:29 AM] o most dfntly, wouldnt miss this 1 4 the world  
[9:29 AM] _pidge_  
[9:31 AM] yah yah, gettin on now

[11:32 AM] there is no way that was ur first time playing dude  
[11:33 AM] i a l w a y s win  
[11:33 AM] u took away my crown just know i will get revenge for this treachery  
[11:35 AM] _if it makes you feel better, you did come pretty close_  
[11:35 AM] I KNOW THAT!!!!  
[11:36 AM] i do look at my score u know  
[11:36 AM] but still  
[11:36 AM] watch ur back, keith, watch ur back  
[11:38 AM] _whatever you say lance_  
[11:42 AM] so long as u know  
[11:43 AM] anyway  
[11:43 AM] important question for u  
[11:44 AM] _is it actually important this time?_  
[11:46 AM] EXCUSE U  
[11:46 AM] all my questions are exceedingly important ill have u know  
[11:52 AM] _sure_  
[11:52 AM] _so what is it?_  
[11:54 AM] do u know anything about biology by any chance  
[11:55 AM] :^)  
[11:57 AM] _no science is far from my strong suite_  
[11:57 AM] _why?_  
[11:59 AM] trying to figure out my ap bio homework. some bullshit about gel electrophoresis  
[12:03 PM] _yeah you'd know more about that than me_  
[12:05 PM] damnit  
[12:05 PM] alright thanks anyways i guess ill bother hunk about it  
[12:09 PM] _sorry i can't help more_  
[12:10 PM] dont worry about it!! ill head over to hunks house in a bit, hes always up for helping  
[12:11 PM] ill talk to u later okay?  
[12:13 PM] _okay, bye_

[3:09 PM] _hey i was just thinking_  
[3:10 PM] _that i don't actually know much about you_  
[3:10 PM] _so if it's okay can i ask some questions_  
[4:03 PM] oh hey sorry bout that, swim again  
[4:04 PM] that's a good idea though, ill ask u some too  
[4:05 PM] itll be like 21 questions but not 21  
[4:05 PM] haha :)  
[4:11 PM] _okay_  
[4:11 PM] _first question: what year are you in_  
[4:13 PM] senior :) almost free from this hellhole  
[4:15 PM] okay so  
[4:15 PM] where do u work?  
[4:17 PM] _oh uhm_  
[4:18 PM] _i help my brother with this art studio he owns_  
[4:19 PM] shit really?? that sounds so cool omg  
[4:19 PM] _does it?_  
[4:20 PM] yeah dude  
[4:20 PM] (4:20 btw)  
[4:22 PM] _you're just as bad as pidge dear god_  
[4:23 PM] u love me keithy boy dont deny it ;P  
[4:24 PM] okay but seriously  
[4:24 PM] ur turn!!  
[4:26 PM] _what do you want to do with your life_  
[4:28 PM] wow getting deep with these qs  
[4:28 PM] i dunno actually though  
[4:29 PM] its not like im really good at much, besides maybe swimming?? but i dont really want to swim professionally  
[4:29 PM] i dunno  
[4:31 PM] _i'm sure you're good at something, you probably just don't realize it yet_  
[4:32 PM] aww, thanks :PP  
[4:32 PM] anyway next question!! u said u worked at an art studio right?? so do u like art?????  
[4:35 PM] _i guess i do, ive never really thought about it_  
[4:37 PM] r u any good???!?  
[4:39 PM] _that's two questions, lance_  
[4:39 PM] just answer me damnit  
[4:41 PM] _i guess i am, again, never really thought about it. ill show you something sometime i guess_  
[4:41 PM] yes!!!!!  
[4:43 PM] _alright, what's your family like_  
[4:45 PM] oh man it's super big?? idk if ive mentioned this but im a latino boi so like. its everyone and we all live together  
[4:46 PM] i have three sisters, two brothers, theres both my grandparents from my moms side, and one of my sisters has a kid  
[4:47 PM] its really loud all the time and frankly were all a mess but i love them  
[4:52 PM] _that sounds nice_  
[4:53 PM] yeah i suppose it is  
[4:53 PM] what about yours??  
[4:57 PM] _it's just me and my brother really?? its been a while since i've really talked to my parents_  
[5:00 PM] shit man, im sorry  
[5:01 PM] _no it's okay i don't really mind_  
[5:03 PM] alright if ur sure  
[5:03 PM] ANYWAY NEXT QUESTION!!  
[5:05 PM] _what's your favorite milkshake flavor_  
[5:06 PM] good one  
[5:06 PM] i personally am i huge fan of mint chocolate chip or peanut butter chocolate  
[5:08 PM] theres this really good place nearby that serves fries and like all kinds of fancy shakes  
[5:08 PM] _i think i can see where this is going_  
[5:09 PM] COME ON KEITH U SHOULD TRY IT JUST ONCE OKAY???  
[5:22 PM] _i will consider it_  
[5:23 PM] mark my words ur gonna love it  
[5:23 PM] anyway my turn!! do u prefer being hot or cold when ur sleeping  
[5:24 PM] _that's a weirdly specific question_  
[5:25 PM] _but hot, i guess?_  
[5:25 PM] thank god i thought u were going to be a heathen and this friendship would have to end  
[5:26 PM] _are we?_  
[5:26 PM] r we what  
[5:29 PM] _friends_  
[5:30 PM] i thought so?? i like talking to u at least?? is that ok?????  
[5:30 PM] _yeah it's fine_  
[5:31 PM] yessss  
[5:31 PM] ok keithy boi i gotta go ive been waiting the fam wait to start dinner and i think my mom is going to kill me  
[5:31 PM] talk to u later :)

[6:47 PM] **You looked awfully excited at dinner tonight**  
[6:48 PM] i still cant believe u just came over like that dude  
[6:48 PM] not cool  
[6:50 PM] **You invited yourself over my place last night. Besides your mom loves me and you owed me for biology help**  
[6:51 PM] thats besides the point  
[6:53 PM] **No it's not**  
[6:54 PM] **And you're changing the subject, why were you so excited**  
[6:57 PM] i wasnt that excited  
[6:59 PM] **Yes you were, you had a big goofy grin on your face all of dinner. You barely even got upset when maria tossed her broccoli at you, and that almost always starts a food war**  
[7:02 PM] i dont think i appreciate where this is going  
[7:05 PM] **Lance, the last time you looked like that...**  
[7:05 PM] gonna stop u right there bc im 90% sure ur imagining things and i really dont want to deal with that right now  
[7:07 PM] **Only 90%?**  
[7:07 PM] Hunk.  
[7:09 PM] **Alright, alright, I'm done, I'll leave you alone now. Still though...**  
[7:09 PM] HUNK.  
[7:11 PM] **Okay, okay. Gonna go work on my english, let me know if you need me.**

[11:34 PM] hey  
[11:34 PM] do u think pigeons have feelings  
[11:35 PM] _my best friend is a pigeon and i can confirm that the only feelings they have are_  
_pure, unadulterated rage_  
[11:35 PM] haha. pidge?  
[11:36 PM] _yeah_  
[11:36 PM] _why are you still awake? don't you have school tomorrow?_  
[11:38 PM] cant sleep  
[11:38 PM] just distracted by a lot of stuff i guess  
[11:39 PM] _did you finish your biology homework?_  
[11:39 PM] yep  
[11:40 PM] finished everything else too  
[11:40 PM] _try to get some sleep, okay? think about something peaceful_  
[11:41 PM] what do u think about?  
[11:42 PM] _i usually listen to music and concentrate on the lyrics_  
[11:42 PM] maybe  
[11:43 PM] ill try counting the stars on my ceiling  
[11:43 PM] goodnight, keith  
[11:46 PM] _goodnight, lance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i legit just posted this yesterday  
> i bet you can guess what i did during school instead of studying :^))))
> 
> rip i didnt think ppl would actually pay attention to this???? bless


	3. dream meme team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance's text is normal  
> keith's text is italics  
> allura's text is bold and italics  
> pidge's text is underlined  
> hunk's text is bold
> 
> note: there is some timeskip between the end of the previous chapter and this one, mainly bc i feel like otherwise the contents of this one would have happened too soon?? so yeah, imagine whatever you want happened during that time. lots of bonding.

11/28/16   
[7:02 AM] remind me again why they think its such a good idea to have school so early   
[7:26 AM] _at least you get out of school around two, right? in a lot of countries kids don't get out until five or even later_  
[7:27 AM] i dont even want to know, keith  
[7:27 AM] so anyway, watcha doin today?  
[7:31 AM] _work, mostly_  
[7:33 AM] sweet. dont forget to show me ur art ok, its been years and i havent seen it  
[7:33 AM] gotta go to class now but ill talk to u at lunch~   
[7:35 AM] _sure, good luck mr. theatrics_

[11:05 AM] keith   
[11:05 AM] keith hunk isnt here today i am all alone   
[11:05 AM] aaLll alooone sooo aLLL ALonnnE   
[11:11 AM] make a wish  
[11:17 AM] damnit ur busy at work arent u  
[11:17 AM] alright ill stop spamming ur phone then

[11:07 AM] hunk where the fuck r u, i cant believe u left me alone like this  
[11:11 AM] MAKE A WISH   
[11:13 AM] so ur gonna ignore me too huh. i see how it is  
[11:22 AM] **Sorry, rosie is sick, I have to watch her. Who else is ignoring you?**  
[11:23 AM] does that mean u cant talk to me  
[11:23 AM] **Not for long**   
[11:24 AM] **Did you miss my question**   
[11:25 AM] maybe  
[11:25 AM] have fun with ur lil sis~ dont come back w a cough and make me sick pls

[11:13 AM] allura my dearest dearest friend  
[11:13 AM] u wouldnt happen to be free right now would u  
[11:16 AM] _**I thought you were done flirting with me ages ago?**_  
[11:17 AM] iM NOT FLIRTING WITH U DEAR GOD  
[11:17 AM] I MEANT TO TALK BC I AM BORED AND EVERYONE IS BUSY   
[11:17 AM] UR PRACTICALLY MY SISTER AT THIS POINT GROSS MUCH  
[11:18 AM] _ **Oh, that's good. I'm glad we have similar feelings on the matter.**_  
[11:18 AM] _**Well, it's not good that you're bored I suppose... are you at lunch right now?**_  
[11:19 AM] yep, hunk is mia   
[11:23 AM] _**I'm afraid I can't really talk right now, unfortunately. I have a meeting with a client in a few minutes. Perhaps work on some homework from your earlier classes?**_  
[11:25 AM] i hate the fact that im bored enough to actually do just that  
[11:25 AM] hey is this the same client u were going on abt last week ;)))  
[11:27 AM] _**No, Lance, and I was not 'going on' about him. I have to go now though.**_  
[11:27 AM] u better tell me what ur next project is if u accept this client   
[11:28 AM] _**Of course. :)**_

[2:14 PM] _yeah sorry i was in the middle of something_   
[2:15 PM] _don't you have other people you could sit with?_  
[2:17 PM] not really but its chill i ended up finishing most of my homework for the night which is good  
[2:17 PM] _oh_  
[2:19 PM] oh?  
[2:19 PM] _you always struck me as the kind of person to have a lot of friends_   
[2:21 PM] i have enough   
[2:21 PM] its just a lot of them arent in school or arent in my lunch shift :^)  
[2:25 PM] _i see_  
[2:25 PM] yep!! anyway i gtg i have swim in a couple of minutes   
[2:26 PM] talk to u later :)  
[2:31 PM] _talk to you later_

[4:52 PM] did the chicken come first or the egg  
[4:52 PM] _lance._  
[4:53 PM] _what the fuck._  
[4:55 PM] what???  
[4:56 PM] _you are the most bizarre person i know_  
[4:56 PM] _which is saying something because i know pidge_  
[5:01 PM] im honored :^))))  
[5:03 PM] _that wasn't a compliment, doofus_  
[5:03 PM] sure it was! u just dont want to admit it  
[5:03 PM] _i'm going to kill you_  
[5:04 PM] ah, but u dont know where i live  
[5:07 PM] _i can look at your area code thing_  
[5:07 PM] what a scientific term  
[5:08 PM] _shut_  
[5:10 PM] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
[5:11 PM] _i'm actually in the process of planning your death_  
[5:11 PM] nah  
[5:11 PM] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
[5:13 PM] _don't you 'nah' me, i'm doing it right now_  
[5:13 PM] nah  
[5:17 PM] _fuck you_  
[5:17 PM] babe u gotta take me out to dinner first   
[5:17 PM] _what the fuck_  
[5:17 PM] _i'm blocking you_  
[5:18 PM] what no  
[5:18 PM] pls i beg forgiveness   
[5:24 PM] bABY COME BACK  
[5:24 PM] ANY KIND OF FOOOL COULD SEEEE  
[5:25 PM] THERE WAS SOMETHING IN EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUUUU  
[5:25 PM] BABY COME BACK  
[5:25 PM] YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON MEEE  
[5:26 PM] _im actually dying wtf_   
[5:27 PM] i knew my serenading would work   
[5:27 PM] _lmao wtf has keith gotten himself in2_   
[5:28 PM] _hold on 1 sec adding ur # 2 my phone_  
[5:28 PM] what

[5:29 PM] im still dying wtf was that  
[5:29 PM] i am so confused   
[5:31 PM] keith is ovr my house rn srry bout that he was p much dying on my floor and i had to c y  
[5:31 PM] wait no way could it be,,,,  
[5:32 PM] ur the infamous pidge   
[5:32 PM] gasp  
[5:33 PM] howd u guess my top secret identity  
[5:33 PM] idk im just that good i guess  
[5:35 PM] damn no wonder   
[5:35 PM] ?????  
[5:35 PM] dw abt it   
[5:36 PM] anyway if i rmmbr correctly keith calld u almost as big a meme as me and now that i finally have ur # i need proof   
[5:37 PM] y didnt he just give it to u before  
[5:39 PM] p sure he was afraid id embarrass him   
[5:40 PM] shit u prolly do have good blackmail material dont u  
[5:41 PM] u kno it  
[5:42 PM] tell u what ill exchange some sweet memes for some of the stories i hahdjekskfjrjsjabcnrj  
[5:42 PM] what  
[5:43 PM] ifi jajgnejjJjjJjJhHhHhNdkslalckkfld  
[5:43 PM] awesome

[5:45 PM] _DON'T LISTEN TO A WORD THEY SAY_  
[5:45 PM] im sitting here dying, im pretty sure my mom is about to bring me to a doctor

[5:46 PM] ANYWAY as i was sayn if u give me some sweet memes i will give u some blajcgjhhaikllllll  
[5:46 PM] i legitmaytly cat breaHe

[5:47 PM] **Your mom just texted me asking if something was wrong with you?**  
[5:47 PM] im dyign   
     - lance sent a screenshot at 5:47 PM -  
     - lance sent a screenshot at 5:47 PM -  
     - lance sent a screenshot at 5:47 PM -  
[5:48 PM] **Who's mystery meme and rage pigeon?**  
[5:48 PM] keith and his friend  
[5:49 PM] **Should have guessed.**   
[5:49 PM] **I'll just tell your mom to leave you be, I guess? Idk I'm rather concerned as well**  
[5:49 PM] dw about me  
[5:50 PM] fhck hold on  
[5:51 PM] **Oh my god**

[5:49 PM] _lance im begging you don't take pidge up on their offer_

[5:49 PM] fellow memer im beggn u it doesnt even have to be a good meme i just want to spite him  
    - lance sent a photo at 5:50 PM -  
    - pidge sent a photo at 5:51 PM -  
[5:51 PM] OH MY GOD IS THAT HIM  
[5:51 PM] u kno it

[5:51 PM] _you traitor_   
[5:51 PM] im changing your contact to spaghetti hair  
[5:52 PM] _oF ALL THE GODDAMN PICTURES_  
[5:52 PM] <3  
[5:52 PM] _fuck you_  
[5:53 PM] again, dinner first  
[5:53 PM] probably not a place that serves pasta though   
[5:54 PM] _agGhisJFJAKAKFJCN_

[5:55 PM] wat did u do this time  
    - pidge sent a photo at 5:55 PM -  
[5:56 PM] what is that   
[5:56 PM] he stole all my blankets to scream in  
[5:56 PM] oh my god  
[5:56 PM] also dw abt telln me i just looked at his phone. u r the real deal  
[5:57 PM] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
[5:57 PM] im replacn keith as my bff w u  
[5:58 PM] ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[5:59 PM] okay im 90% sure this nonsense is over  
[6:00 PM] **Your mom has called me three times to tell me how concerned she is**  
[6:00 PM] ;)))

[6:00 PM] okay im done now i promise   
[6:01 PM] not gonna make fun of u anymore   
[6:01 PM] _i hate all of you_  
[6:02 PM] aw :'( after all our bonding and everything?   
[6:03 PM] _i didn't realize you liked to torture your friends_  
[6:03 PM] its how i display affection  
[6:03 PM] shit hold on  
[6:04 PM] ? _?_?

    - incoming call from hunk at 6:03 PM -  
    - ended call with hunk at 6:16 PM -  
[6:16 PM] **Lance.**   
[6:17 PM] gODDAMNIT FINE

    - lance made a group chat with hunk, keith, and pidge -  
    - lance renamed the group chat Dream Meme Team -  
[6:20 PM] HERE HUNK U HAPPY NOW  
    - hunk sent a photo at 6:22 PM -  
    - hunk sent a photo at 6:22 PM -  
    - hunk sent a photo at 6:22 PM -  
[6:23 PM] FUCKING TRAITOR YOU LIED TO ME??????  
[6:23 PM] ILL HAVE U ALL KNOW THAT THOSE R V BAD REPRESENTATIONS OF MY BEAUTIFUL FACE  
    - lance sent a photo at 6:23 PM -  
[6:24 PM] goddamnit hunk why do i have no embarrassing pictures of you  
[6:24 PM] **Because I'm an angel.**  
[6:25 PM] i hate it bc its true   
[6:27 PM] IM HOWLN  
[6:27 PM] _i'm two floors below their apartment at this point and i can still hear them_  
[6:28 PM] LANCE WTF IS W THAT FACE AHAHAHAHAHA  
[6:28 PM] hunk u r a traitor and a terrible friend  
[6:29 PM] **< 3**  
[6:29 PM] </////////3   
[6:29 PM] **Wait no bro I'm sorry, I'll bake you cookies for tomorrow**  
[6:30 PM] bro......  
[6:31 PM] you r my best bro, bro  
[6:31 PM] **Aw, bro**  
[6:32 PM] _i can't believe i'm being made to read this with my own two eyes_   
[6:32 PM] stfu keithy boi ur just jealous of my best bro friend   
[6:33 PM] _you stfu_  
[6:33 PM] no u stfu  
[6:33 PM] _no you stfu_   
[6:33 PM] no u stfu   
[6:34 PM] im screming   
[6:34 PM] _stfu pidge no one cares_  
[6:35 PM] no one cares about ur face   
[6:35 PM] _what???_  
[6:36 PM] idk sounded good   
[6:36 PM] jfc u 2  
[6:37 PM] WELL ANYWAYS im going to bed, need to get my 12 hours of beauty sleep u know how it goes   
[6:37 PM] _you should probably shoot for thirteen_  
[6:37 PM] WOW   
    - lance left the chat at 6:37 PM -  
[6:38 PM] _shit_   
    - keith left the chat at 6:48 PM -

[6:38 PM] _hey im sorry i was just kidding_  
[6:38 PM] what?  
[6:39 PM] oh no worried i know  
[6:39 PM] it was mostly an excuse for me to leave lmao, i hate group chats   
[6:40 PM] _oh okay_  
[6:40 PM] _are you actually going to sleep?_  
[6:42 PM] gonna try at least. good night?  
[6:42 PM] _good night._

[6:39 PM] so.  
[6:40 PM] **So.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually wasnt planning on posting this until tomorrow??? but im pretty much going to be out all day tomorrow so you get it today :^)  
> i cant believe so many of u support this still like its just a piece of t ra sh sitt in g on my p ho ne what the fuc k guys  
> anyways yeah, pls continue to comment and stuff, yall fuel my meaningless existance


	4. and so it begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance's text is normal  
> keith's text is italics  
> pidge's text is underlined  
> hunk's text is bolded

**11/29/16**

  
[5:21 AM] ugh   
[5:25 AM] _are you going to complain about school again_  
[5:25 AM] no, im going to complain about the fact that no one is awake to make me breakfast   
[5:27 AM] _make yourself breakfast?_  
[5:27 AM] dude r u kidding  
[5:28 AM] i cant cook ?????   
[5:28 AM] i can pour a mean bowl of cereal  
[5:28 AM] but i hate having just cereal   
[5:29 AM] i guess i could microwave some bacon but i was really craving pancakes   
[5:31 AM] _can't help you there._   
[5:31 AM] yeah yeah i know  
[5:32 AM] _why don't you go out somewhere and get like a muffin or something_   
[5:32 AM] ... thats actually not a terrible idea  
[5:33 AM] except then i only have a half an hour to get ready  
[5:37 AM] _that's plenty of time isn't it_  
[5:37 AM] no??? usually i take like an hour  
[5:37 AM] beauty like this takes time   
[5:39 AM] _jesus christ_  
[5:39 AM] _fine then don't complain about your food choices_   
[5:41 AM] ughhhhhhhhhhh  
[5:41 AM] uGHHHHHH  
[5:41 AM] FINE I WONT PUT ON MY MAKEUP R I HAPPY KEITHY BOY  
[5:42 AM] _... you wear makeup?_  
[5:53 AM] usually yeah   
[5:53 AM] just gonna settle for some eyeliner this morning   
[5:53 AM] sniff   
[5:54 AM] _repeat: jesus christ_   
[5:54 AM] you should try it out itd probably fix your face some  
[5:57 AM] _adfhsjrkl_  
[5:57 AM] lmao   
[5:57 AM] im kidding btw i'm sure ur face is perfectly pretty w/o it   
[5:58 AM] so long as it's not covered in spaghetti sauce  
[5:58 AM] _agdjLAKDJN_  
[5:58 AM] anywho i better get going   
[5:59 AM] talk to u later chico lindo ;)  
[6:00 AM] _what_  
[6:00 AM] _i don't even want to know_

[10:23 AM] **I still can't believe you brought me a cupcake how did you even afford it**  
[10:25 AM] i stole cash from max, she owed me anyway  
[10:25 AM] also why the fuck are u texting me in class doesn't mrs rutherford get pissed if she catches u w ur phone out  
[10:27 AM] **We have a substitute who doesn't know a thing about the material so hes just letting us run rampant**   
[10:28 AM] oh nice   
[10:28 AM] i better go before tuomey catches me  
[10:28 AM] remember not to tell mom that i had a cupcake for breakfast ok  
[10:29 AM] **If she asks I'm not going to lie**   
[10:29 AM] damnit hunk

[11:11 AM] mAKE A WISH  
[11:12 AM] do you think there's that big of a difference between muffins and cupcakes   
[11:13 AM] _yeah?? cupcakes have way more sugar in them, muffins are more like spongey bread_   
[11:13 AM] but they can be sweet like cupcakes   
[11:14 AM] so is it really that bad to have a cupcake instead of a muffin for breakfast   
[11:14 AM] _...lance_   
[11:15 AM] _you didn't_   
[11:15 AM] i brought hunk one too so i dunno why hes chewing me out over this  
[11:17 AM] _because it's unhealthy? lance you are such a dumbass_   
[11:17 AM] iTS NOT LIKE I SMOKE OR SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT IT WAS JJST ONE CUPCAKE  
[11:18 AM] _smoking isn't that bad...._  
[11:18 AM] oh my god  
[11:19 AM] keithy boy no   
[11:19 AM] youre harping on about me eating a cupcake when u smoke???  
[11:19 AM] smoking legit destroys ur lungs??? and brain??? a cupcake is just delicious and sugary   
[11:21 AM] _i never said i smoked._  
[11:23 AM] it was implied. hunk agrees w me by the way hes ranting about the dangers of smoking now   
[11:23 AM] uve angered the hunk   
[11:23 AM] _oh no, whatever shall i do._   
[11:24 AM] be scared dude im p sure hes been talking to pidge since the group   
[11:24 AM] shit son hes got his phone out now   
[11:25 AM] spooky   
[11:26 AM] _jfc lance. youre way overreacting_   
[11:27 AM] well all jokes aside smoking actually is bad dude u should try to quit   
[11:27 AM] one of my cousins went to the hospital a couple of months ago bc of it and there were like pictures of his lungs,, oh man they were gross   
[11:27 AM] shit gives u cancer  
    - lance sent a photo at 11:28 AM -  
[11:29 AM] _touched as i am that you're so concerned, i think i'll be fine_   
[11:32 AM] i reserve the right to say i told u so when u go to the er with gross black cancer ridden breathe sacs  
[11:32 AM] _fine, right reserved. but it won't happen. my breathe sacs will remain healthy_   
[11:36 AM] whatever u say dude. anyway im gonna try to work on some hw so ill talk to u later   
[11:36 AM] _alright_  
[11:36 AM] _bye_

[11:27 AM] **Did you know keith smokes**  
[11:28 AM] i did. boi tryn 2 get himself killd or sumthn   
[11:28 AM] **Wait for real??**  
[11:28 AM] nah hes just p fckn stupid sumtimes  
[11:30 AM] **Ah**   
[11:31 AM] **I think lance has been low key freaking out so I'm going to try to calm him down**  
[11:31 AM] have fun w that, m not even gon ask

[2:16 PM] approximately one week left before im free   
[2:23 PM] _... your school gets out for break that early?_  
[2:24 PM] what no  
[2:24 PM] not of school, of swim   
[2:24 PM] damn i wish school got out that early   
[2:27 PM] _if you dislike swim why do you do it?_  
[2:27 PM] blah  
[2:28 PM] its not that i dislike swim??? i just hate the competitiveness n shit  
[2:28 PM] fuckin love swimming   
[2:28 PM] the only pool nearby tho is the schools and u dont get to use it unless ur in the swim team or have explicit permission   
[2:29 PM] thus: swim team  
[2:31 PM] _couldn't you ask your coach if you could use it though? without being on the team?_  
[2:32 PM] this may come as a shock but i have  
[2:32 PM] she guilt tripped me into staying on the team rip   
[2:32 PM] hate to brag but im one of the teams best swimmers ;))) who knows what theyd do w/o me  
[2:35 PM] _some odd feeling tells me you in fact do not hate to brag_  
[2:36 PM] g a sp   
[2:36 PM] keithy boi,,,,,,  
[2:37 PM] im offended  
[2:37 PM] u suggest that i am not??? the epitome of humbleness??  
[2:37 PM] there is a tear rolling down my cheek  
[2:39 PM] _my sincerest apologies however could i be so rude_   
[2:40 PM] idk keithy boi but u owe me one   
[2:41 PM] _i owe you one what_  
[2:41 PM] idk yet ill let u know when ive decided   
[2:45 PM] _dear god_  
[2:45 PM] hush u brought this upon urself  
[2:45 PM] anyway i better go get ready  
[2:46 PM] ttyl keithy boi <3  
[2:46 PM] _later???????_

[5:03 PM] whats w all the q marks???  
[5:04 PM] _< 3?? what??_  
[5:04 PM] oh   
[5:04 PM] shit  
[5:04 PM] sorry i didnt mean to make u uncomfortable??  
[5:05 PM] i send hearts to all my friends sorry   
[5:05 PM] _oh_  
[5:06 PM] _no it's ok i don't mind i was just confused_  
[5:11 PM] oh okay  
[5:11 PM] sorry   
[5:12 PM] _nothing to be sorry about._   
[5:12 PM] _i have evening shift tonight, so i'll have to talk later, okay?_  
[5:13 PM] yep, bye for now

[10:42 PM] _hey i'm out of work_  
[10:49 PM] _you're probably asleep aren't you_  
[10:53 PM] _i'll talk to you in the morning. goodnight, lance_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so??? i know this is later than normal and also shorter than normal  
> i was planning on posting it tomorrow since its like,,, 11PM and im exhuasted but since i love u guys  
> anyway  
> im hoping to make up for it next chapter  
> i have plans,,,, good (ok maybe not good but still good) plans
> 
> also thank yall??? again ur comments fuel me


	5. (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like you should all know that i planned to post this on christmas eve and then type a lil christmas oneshot based in this universe for yall but  
> i uh  
> ended up a lot busier than planned   
> ,,,, and then i forgot about it  
> *sobbing*  
> so merry belated christmas and a happy new year i guess

**12/02/17**

  
[11:34 AM] me and hunk were watching this show called unique sweets (bomb.com btw watch it) and there was this ice scream shop called the big gay ice cream shop and i don't think my life will be complete until i go there  
[11:35 AM] _well hello to you too_  
[11:35 AM] oh right hi good morning   
[11:35 AM] _good morning, lance_  
[11:35 AM] anyway, as i was saying   
[11:36 AM] big gay ice cream shop   
[11:36 AM] it looks so good im screaming?????????  
    - lance sent a photo at 11:37 AM -  
[11:38 AM] _it's actually right near where i live. or, the philadelphia one is_   
[11:38 AM] wait seriously??  
[11:39 AM] yo we must be pretty close then bc it's not that far from where i am   
[11:39 AM] im genuinely shocked i didnt know about it before now  
[11:41 AM] _yes, we literally have the same area code, why are you so surprised_   
[11:41 AM] _why are you so excited about it anyway_  
[11:43 AM] shit how did i never notice that what the f uc k  
[11:43 AM] and???? bc???? big gay???? it's practically a shop about me   
[11:45 AM] _i thought u were bi??? there were so many bi jokes in the cah game_  
[11:45 AM] listen im 50% gay so im still allowed to relate to gay things leave me alone   
[11:46 AM] _ah_   
[11:46 AM] _i see_  
[11:47 AM] yep   
    - lance sent an image at 11:49 AM -  
[11:49 AM] _what the fuck_   
[11:49 AM] _why_  
[11:51 AM] we we're both getting awkward so i though a meme might help ( • ̀ω•́ )✧   
[11:51 AM] _what the fuck_  
[11:52 AM] _why_   
[11:52 AM] keithy boy   
[11:52 AM] stop that  
[11:53 AM] _what the fuck_  
[11:53 AM] _why_   
[11:54 AM] bye   
[11:54 AM] _wait no_   
[11:55 AM] _come back_  
[11:56 AM] _:(_  
[11:59 AM] _:(((((((_  
[12:01 PM] can a boy not take a seven minute call without upsetting u  
[12:01 PM] _:((((((((((((((((((((((((((_  
[12:01 PM] _shit wait_   
[12:02 PM] _hi :)_  
[12:02 PM] _btw shouldn't you be in school right now_  
[12:03 PM] wow. "come back" he says  
[12:03 PM] "why aren't you in school" he says  
[12:04 PM] make up ur mind keithy boi  
[12:04 PM] _wow chill i was just wondering_   
[12:04 PM] lmao  
[12:05 PM] no school today, our town has the day off on the last day of this local fair   
[12:07 PM] _oh_   
[12:08 PM] yep. actually going to be heading there now w hunk  
[12:08 PM] _oh. fun. talk to you later then??_  
[12:08 PM] i mean if u want??? i was planning on continuing to talk to u but i see how it is  
[12:09 PM] i see what u think of me keith :'(  
[12:09 PM] _i didn't mean that, i just thought you were going to be busy_   
[12:10 PM] detonlphds i know shush im teasing   
[12:10 PM] i mean i may b a bit slow to reply once we get there but id still like to talk   
[12:11 PM] _of course_   
[12:11 PM] of course of course   
[12:11 PM] _of course of course of course_   
[12:12 PM] of course of course of course of course   
[12:12 PM] _how long are we going to do this_  
    - lance sent a photo at 12:12 PM -  
[12:12 PM] _lance_.   
[12:13 PM] u kno u love me and my memes keithy boi  
[12:13 PM] _how did you even come to that conclusion when today is pretty much the first time you've ever sent me any memes._   
[12:13 PM] _you're a terrible ironic memer_  
[12:15 PM] im sobbign?!!?!!  
[12:15 PM] i cant believe u jut called me an ironic memer im syign my entire life is complete   
[12:15 PM] _a terrible ironic memer. perchance the worst i've ever heard of_  
[12:16 PM] ah but u have heard of me ;))))  
[12:16 PM] _i have so many regrets_   
[12:18 PM] dont we all  
[12:18 PM] for example  
[12:18 PM] shit   
[12:18 PM] gimme a sec ill b back  
[12:19 PM] _what_

[3:03 PM] iM SORRY   
[3:03 PM] WE SAW AN OLD FRIEND OF OURS KIND OF AND HE DRAGGED US INTO WORKING AT HIS STAND AGAINST OUR WILL  
[3:03 PM] IT WAS SO BUSY IM DYING   
[3:05 PM] FUCK HES CALLING ME BACK OVER KILL ME NOW PLEASE  
[3:11 PM] _what_

[3:45 PM] HE KEEPS ON MAKING ME WORK. HE RELEASED HUNK TO FOOL AROUND WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND BUT IM STILL HERE. WHY   
[3:46 PM] _i'm laughing_   
[3:46 PM] DONT LAUGHT AT ME YOU TRAITOR. I AM IN PAIN  
[3:46 PM] OH GOD NO  
[3:47 PM] _????_  
[4:02 PM] KILL ME A BUNCH OF GIRLS THAT CAME BY EARLIER RETURNED TO FLIRT WITH ME I WANT TO DIE   
[4:02 PM] HUNK RETURNED JUST IN TIME TO LAUGH AT ME AS ONE FORCIBLY SCRIBBLED HER NUMBER ON MY HAND  
[4:03 PM] MY POOR PORES   
[4:04 PM] _i'm actually dying this is hilarious_   
[4:04 PM] WELL IM GLAD SOMEONE IS GETTING A KICK OUT OF THIS   
[4:05 PM] IT WAS SHARPIE, KEITH. A S H A R P I E.  
[4:06 PM] _i actually can't breath. i'm showing this to pidge_   
[4:06 PM] FUCK YOU KEITH

    - keith sent a screenshot at 4:07 PM -  
    - keith sent a screenshot at 4:07 PM-   
[4:08 PM] oh my god.

[4:09 PM] how intense is ur skincare routine lover boy   
[4:10 PM] IM GOIG TO KILL SOMEONE.

[4:10 PM] EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME AND I AM IN PAIN  
[4:11 PM] EVEN SHAY IS SNICKERING  
[4:11 PM] I HAVE TO FIND A HOLE TO DIE IN EXCUSE ME  
[4:12 PM] _no lance, don't do that_  
[4:12 PM] _who would be the comedic relief then?_   
[4:13 PM] fuck you dude   
[4:13 PM] _lance i'm just playing calm down_   
[4:14 PM] _lance_   
[4:17 PM] _lance?_

    - incoming call from keith at 4:20 PM -   
    - ended call with keith at 4:39 PM -  
[4:40 PM] its gonna b ok keith u kno lance hes a drama queen hell get ovr it  
[4:42 PM] _i guess but it still feels like i said something really wrong_   
[4:42 PM] well idk i dont talk 2 him as much as u but im sure w/e u did wasnt tht big of a deal just talk 2 him ab it   
[4:42 PM] _okay i'll try_

[4:53 PM] hey sorry for freaking out hunk said i was overreacting and tbh he's probably right so can we just forget that ever happened sorry   
[4:55 PM] _it's okay i was kind of out of line, i'm the one at fault. don't beat yourself up over it, okay?_  
[4:56 PM] if you say so  
[4:56 PM] _i do say so_  
[4:56 PM] _are you okay? do you want to talk about it?_  
[4:58 PM] no   
[4:58 PM] not right now  
[4:58 PM] thank you though   
[4:58 PM] _of course._  
[4:59 PM] _if you ever do let me know_  
[4:59 PM] okay  
    - lance sent an image at 5:00 PM -  
[5:00 PM] _oh my god lance._   
[5:00 PM] _why are you like this._  
[5:02 PM] memes are my coping mechanism   
[5:02 PM] _someday i'm going to find you and kill you. it won't even be that hard_   
[5:03 PM] tbh it wont im weak and willing   
[5:03 PM] finally the sweet embrace of death   
[5:05 PM] _on second thought, maybe not. i wouldn't want to give you that pleasure_   
[5:05 PM] im shook   
[5:06 PM] i thought we were friends and here u are, denying me my only wish in life  
[5:06 PM] _i sincerely doubt it's your only wish, dumbass_   
[5:07 PM] it's a literary tool called exaggeration numbnuts   
[5:07 PM] _douche canoe_  
[5:08 PM] fucktard   
[5:09 PM] _dick head_  
[5:09 PM] ur mother was a hamster and ur father smelled of elderberries   
[5:10 PM] _shakespeare, how literate of you_   
[5:10 PM] wow  
[5:11 PM] im   
[5:11 PM] kind of disappointed right now  
[5:11 PM] i take back all the times ive internally labeled you a nerd, i cant believe   
[5:12 PM] _what_  
[5:16 PM] that was monty python not shakespeare????? big difference  
[5:16 PM] one was an ancient comedy genius and the other is a modern comedy genius   
[5:17 PM] how do u even   
[5:17 PM] im shook   
[5:17 PM] _im sorry???_  
[5:18 PM] u should be  
[5:18 PM] im actually struggling to breathe right now i cant   
[5:21 PM] _please continue to breathe_  
[5:22 PM] i cant make any guarantees keithy boy  
[5:22 PM] my favorite flowers are daisies in case u wanted to bring some  
[5:24 PM] _again, here you are, assuming i'm going to your funeral_  
[5:24 PM] WOW   
[5:24 PM] W O W  
[5:25 PM] IM GLAD OUR FRIENDSHIP MEANS SO MUCH TO U   
[5:25 PM] _:)_  
[5:26 PM] IM GOING TO FIND U AND HAUNT THE FUCK OUT OF U UR GONNA REGRET THIS   
[5:27 PM] _(:_   
[5:27 PM] b y e]

    - [lance sent an image at 8:34 PM ](http://i.imgur.com/MHO5ZXK.jpg)-  
[8:35 PM] i just saved a bunch of questionable photos and i want you to know it was a struggle deciding which one to send  
[8:37 PM] _it's not much of a struggle if you just don't send any_   
    -[ lance sent an image at 8:42 PM](http://i.imgur.com/7c8B8Qm.jpg) -  
[8:42 PM] _stop it_  
    - [lance sent an image at 8:46 PM](http://i.imgur.com/jzxjJ0G.jpg) -  
[8:46 PM] _stop_  
    - [lance sent an image at 8:50 PM](http://i.imgur.com/gwxkaTL.jpg) -  
[8:51 PM] _i'm leaving now_  
[8:51 PM] <3<3<3<3<3<3  
[8:52 PM] _< /3 bye_  
[8:52 PM] :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact that last conversation was an actual thing that happened between me and a friend
> 
> i also feel like this chapter went really fast considering the events occurring?? but at the same time from experience its kinda at the right pace for drama occurring via texting so like  
> *confetti* fuck this

**Author's Note:**

> guyS IM SORRY I KNOW HTERE ARE LIKE 5000 OF HTESE  
> this is going to be a mess i have no plans for it besides klance
> 
> im legit in the middle of writing another, more legit fanfic rn that ill post,,,, at some point,,,, (spoilers: pirate!au) 
> 
> please help me i am gay trash. i blame fox, fox is encouraging me


End file.
